Gaheris Rhade (
truth_is_cold) wrote2013-03-28 10:00 pm
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078
[Public | Audio]
Deal with this however you deem necessary. I don't care. I don't have any information that I can give outside of a functioning warden item and the assurance that there is still food available. What I do care about is that the people demoted, some of them worked hard to get there.
I sometimes have doubted my abilities as a warden, but I don't doubt that my inmate needs me. That as an inmate, there were intolerable conditions that no one should have to go through. And it wasn't the torture of alternate histories, it wasn't a lack of food or necessities, it wasn't the conflicts that we had to rise to. It was the indifference. We were disposable, we knew we were disposable. Many of the wardens here- new wardens that fought their way up from that -that gave their own lives meaning again rather than just hoping that they would find a permanent death.
They have to stand here and be told that was for nothing? Just because they know it's hard. Just because they have to look at their inmate and face the same odds that they faced, they have to be told that they don't deserve what they earned? These people are not punch clocks. None of us were.
Most of us had some warden that believed in us, even if it wasn't our own. So those of you that were demoted that worked hard to get here, those of you that feel guilty and worthless, or remotely incapable, this judgment is absolutely false. If you have it in you to disagree with any of this insanity, that's just as flawed. And to the current Admiral, I think you know it as well as I do.
[Spam for Ben]
[Rhade knows that Ben needs him, and he's not got the capacity to do any bridge raids. So it's Ben's room that he goes to next. He thumps on the door, and has a look either way down the hall.]
Deal with this however you deem necessary. I don't care. I don't have any information that I can give outside of a functioning warden item and the assurance that there is still food available. What I do care about is that the people demoted, some of them worked hard to get there.
I sometimes have doubted my abilities as a warden, but I don't doubt that my inmate needs me. That as an inmate, there were intolerable conditions that no one should have to go through. And it wasn't the torture of alternate histories, it wasn't a lack of food or necessities, it wasn't the conflicts that we had to rise to. It was the indifference. We were disposable, we knew we were disposable. Many of the wardens here- new wardens that fought their way up from that -that gave their own lives meaning again rather than just hoping that they would find a permanent death.
They have to stand here and be told that was for nothing? Just because they know it's hard. Just because they have to look at their inmate and face the same odds that they faced, they have to be told that they don't deserve what they earned? These people are not punch clocks. None of us were.
Most of us had some warden that believed in us, even if it wasn't our own. So those of you that were demoted that worked hard to get here, those of you that feel guilty and worthless, or remotely incapable, this judgment is absolutely false. If you have it in you to disagree with any of this insanity, that's just as flawed. And to the current Admiral, I think you know it as well as I do.
[Spam for Ben]
[Rhade knows that Ben needs him, and he's not got the capacity to do any bridge raids. So it's Ben's room that he goes to next. He thumps on the door, and has a look either way down the hall.]
[Private]
It would have been a grim discussion, but we both would have agreed.
[Private]
Still doesn't make it feel very good, though.
[Dylan forces himself to brighten.]
But, hey, on the upside I get to see all the fun and excitement that goes on in the inmate filter.
Ben looks like he's keeping calm wants to be helpful. And not go on a killing spree. [Dylan shows him this conversation]
[Private]
[He's glad about that.]
Well, Dylan. You know what will happen if you assist in an extraction. With the outrage, it will go wrong. There are few neutral parties left.
[Private]
[He sighs at the mention of extraction.]
I've been thinking about that. I want to help; I hate sitting back and doing nothing, but with all this anger I think a military effort could get real ugly real fast.
I'm starting to think that the best thing I can do is...basically what Ben said. Stay here and protect the most vulnerable and frightened.
[Private]
[Private]
I wonder if there's any type of civil disobedience that could get the imposter Admiral's attention but wouldn't get people thrown in Zero. They seem interested in the idea of fairness, even if they don't have a strong grasp of how to actually go about it. Maybe calling attention to how unjust and cruel all this is will make a difference.
[Private]
I'm... sorry to admit that it will be more difficult not to return home after this. [He hates admitting that to Dylan, because he's still mostly convinced that this is the only place they have.]
[Private]
[Dylan's face grows solemn.]
I won't keep you here if you really want to go. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be away from your family for so long.
But...you being here with me has meant the world to me. If you go, this place is going to be a lot more lonely.
[Private]
I've never wanted to stay, but I don't want to leave you or Ben. I don't want to leave the uncertainty of my friend's child to chance. I want her to have her family because I think she would be an exceptional mother. I don't want to watch you from the far side of 300 years again just yet.
...That Ben is coping adequately is helping, and that I'm certain I'm a good warden for him.
[Private]
I'm glad you've got good reasons to stay. And I'm honored that I'm one of them.
[Private]
[Private]
I always wanted to be a dad. It's not even about passing on my genes. I'd be happy being a foster dad. I've just always loved kids, the way they think, their funny logic, how, when they're happy they're really happy, screaming at the air happy, how easily they laugh and love. And having a little person to protect and nurture and watch grow up has always appealed to me.
Kids and being around people I love. That's all I really want for myself.
[Private]
I wanted great things, but when I went I decided to choose the great things that mattered, the other things seemed to come along with them.
Perhaps you should go for what you would prefer out of life, and the examples you would set and people you meet would help accomplish everything else. We won't damage a timeline again. We can do it right. Neither one of us will be trapped in the idea of "the One", we can be part of a family. [Though at that moment he's thinking two respective families, because he's still a cynic.]
[Private]
Sometimes I envy you, Gaheris. Maybe I should let Beka try being "the One" next and go live with you in the past. It could be like the retirement home for former Ones.
[Private]
I think she could do it. She would be wiser than to assume she could do it on her own, and Trance has faith in her. However... she walked away from the cause when I was there.
That, or she walked away from me. [It was probably that.]
[Private]
She walked away from me, too, at the end. For a while. [And came back again, but Dylan doesn't add that. He doesn't want to rub it in.]
[Private]
[Private]
Re: [Private]
[what is a compliment, Rhade?]
[Private]
Seriously though, there's a little part of me [He gestures with two fingers very close together to demonstrate just how little. Feigns thinking about it, then extends the space so it's not so little.] that wants to drag you off to the future so you and Beka can date just so you'll be there as a barrier blocking all her boyfriends and ex-boyfriends from getting involved.
Although that would be kind of awkward now. You and her...and you and me...
[Private]
[He is, of course, lying. He is still perfectly capable of being a bastard, though not to the point of demotion apparently.]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]